.
Regarding the previous post about The Art if Surrender, I have had to apply the dynamics, principles, and essence of this work in my own life. Particularly as it applies to my intention to learn to waltz with God.
In uncovering my own stuck places, I've come to realize that what I hear and see others doing and saying are the very things that I myself need to work on. I've learned that everything I see and hear is an actual reflection of my own inner creations. That I am the cause of everything I have and experience.
This awareness has prompted me to pay attention to the messages and guidance that I have been given from God. In order to see and understand this information, I have learned that I have to pay attention and follow the lead that God is providing me. The challenge is following with responsiveness, rather than being like a puppet on a string.
If you read the previous post, it describes this process in exquisite detail. Following with responsiveness, like the clouds follow the wind, requires watchfulness and discipline. Neither of which we are taught nor trained to do.
In ballroom dancing, this same relationship takes place, but only if both partners know and understand all of these elements. Even though I have learned, practiced, and experienced this, it remains a challenge for me to do it with God.
I have found this to be utterly fascinating, mostly because I have spent considerable time learning to control my mind, and understand the masculine and feminine balance in relationships. Even as I begin each day with the intention to do my part perfectly, there are times when I try to lead. These moments usually produce unwanted results, which made me painfully aware that I am leading.
As I become aware of the power and exquisite beauty of this dance, I often reminded of the advice of many Guru’s - Do Nothing. It took me a lot of prayers, practice and dedication to understanding the meaning of doing nothing. Simply enough, the truth I have discovered is that we only have to stop trying to lead the Dance.
This brings us to the two critical components of this work - Watchfulness and Discipline.
These I will address in future posts.
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Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
The Art of Surrender - explained
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The Art of Surrender, the Elements of Submissiveness
This article describes the process and the balance that happens when partners are in accord in the most eloquent and beautiful way I have ever heard. These are the words that describe it, the experience goes so far beyond what can be said and really has to be felt to comprehend the true essence and beauty of this exquisite connection!
I have tried to explain this in many ways to women who freeze when I talk about surrender or submissiveness, as they always go to their conditioned thoughts of being powerless. This article explains the difference beautifully.
So if you are ready here is the extraordinary description of surrender -
The richness of tango lies in contrast; in the interplay of opposites. There is continual interweaving of slow beats and quick beats; of smooth, flowing motion and sharp turns; of moves of expansion and moves of contraction; of freedom and discipline.
In one contrast the tango is unique among dances; and that is the contrast between its sensuality and the precision of its geometry. Sensuality and geometry are not often paired in aesthetics. The creative power of this pair of opposites, the vitality generated by their interaction, is seen in tango as nowhere else. And they point directly to the fundamental pair of opposites that are always at the secret heart of tango; man and woman.
It is often said that the man "dominates" tango, and the woman's role is "submissive." There is some truth in that. But it is such a crude and superficial understanding of the relation between man and woman in the tango that it distorts the creative act that arises from them.
From his own sensitivity to the music and to his partner, he recreates the history of tango every time he takes the floor. Unlike the more rigidly codified dances, every tango is a new tango. Each new pair of partners creates it from the beginning, according to the moment, the mood, the music, and their inner feeling. The state of the heart.
But the very reason the man creates the dance is to evoke the beauty, the grace, and the inner spirit of the woman, without which tango is only empty geometry. He evokes this inner feminine spirit for his own enjoyment, but also so the woman can enjoy her own femininity. He creates the form, and she fills it with beauty. That is the shared experience of tango.
In order to make this possible, the woman is not submissive, she is responsive. She is in a state of heightened awareness, watchful to the nuance of tempo and rhythm, sensitive not only to the music, but to the man's feeling about her and the music, and to the dance he is creating from those feelings.
The art of following in tango is both more subtle and more mysterious than leading. And when a woman follows, she is not dragging along behind like a platypus on a chain. She follows as a cloud follows the wind, and her art is to be as responsive to the man as the cloud is responsive to the wind
This state of heightened responsiveness is not an exclusively feminine skill, by any means. It is also the state of the hunter tracking a wounded animal. (It is even the state of the defensive backfield of the L A Rams, and I do not recall hearing the words "submissive" or "passive" used in that connection.) In the tango, it is the woman who plays this responsive role.
In fact, the image of the feminine that is evoked in the tango is at the farthest pole from passive. It has the greatest feminine range of any dance, at one moment swooning languidly into his arms, at the next a sassy, pert and rebellious flirtation. The tango can express a wider range of the feminine than any other dance, and this is the source of its power for both man and woman.
All these things have certain practical consequences in tango, and in particular in the lead. In the vast majority of cases the reason a woman does not follow is because the man is not leading.
First of all, when a woman is truly following, and in a highly responsive state, she is easily bored. If she always knows what is coming next, and with what timing you will lead any given figure, you will lose her attention and she will start dancing on her own. Perhaps that is acceptable for an exhibition dance, but there is a great difference between displaying the tango and dancing the tango.
An exhibition dance may show the form of tango beautifully, but loses its heart, which is the moment to moment flow of energy between the dancers, in which the outcome is an adventure and a mystery. In an exhibition the meaning is for an audience; in a dance the meaning is for the dancers alone. That is tango.
It is the man's responsibility to be creative enough to keep the woman's attention on the dance. She needs surprises, an occasional unexpected delight, or she will lapse into a routine of memorized steps, and the dance will not be a memorable one for either of you. (One way to improve a woman's following is to make her close her eyes, so that she can respond only to your lead, and not to mental images.)
The implication of this for the lead is clear. The man has to know what he is doing, and do it decisively, without ambiguity, and without giving confusing signals about it. The tango, like all arts, is a combination of freedom and discipline. The dancers cannot enjoy the rewards of tango freedom until they have mastered tango discipline; specifically, for the man, the discipline of leading with certainty.
In tango, particularly, there is survival value in certainty. For example, when you lead the figure el gancho, you must place the woman's body very accurately. Otherwise, and let us be straightforward about this, you will be kicked in the groin by a three inch spike heel moving at an extremely high rate of speed. This is not good. And at such a moment the thought that the woman in tango is "submissive" will not even cross your mind.
We can dispense with the superficial description of woman's role in tango as "passive." But we can also remember the seed of truth in the cliché: the heart of tango is in the contrast of opposites, and the more opposite the roles played by man and woman, the more creative the dance will be. Sensuality alone is limited. Geometry alone is limited. But in free and disciplined combination, together they are unlimited.
In the mythos of tango it is said that two dancers have died from the overwhelming emotion generated by the dance, one in Buenos Aires in 1912, the other in Paris in 1926. Both were women.
copied from this website –
http://www.donberry.com/NonFiction/Tango/tango.html
The Art of Surrender, the Elements of Submissiveness
This article describes the process and the balance that happens when partners are in accord in the most eloquent and beautiful way I have ever heard. These are the words that describe it, the experience goes so far beyond what can be said and really has to be felt to comprehend the true essence and beauty of this exquisite connection!
I have tried to explain this in many ways to women who freeze when I talk about surrender or submissiveness, as they always go to their conditioned thoughts of being powerless. This article explains the difference beautifully.
So if you are ready here is the extraordinary description of surrender -
The richness of tango lies in contrast; in the interplay of opposites. There is continual interweaving of slow beats and quick beats; of smooth, flowing motion and sharp turns; of moves of expansion and moves of contraction; of freedom and discipline.
In one contrast the tango is unique among dances; and that is the contrast between its sensuality and the precision of its geometry. Sensuality and geometry are not often paired in aesthetics. The creative power of this pair of opposites, the vitality generated by their interaction, is seen in tango as nowhere else. And they point directly to the fundamental pair of opposites that are always at the secret heart of tango; man and woman.
It is often said that the man "dominates" tango, and the woman's role is "submissive." There is some truth in that. But it is such a crude and superficial understanding of the relation between man and woman in the tango that it distorts the creative act that arises from them.
From his own sensitivity to the music and to his partner, he recreates the history of tango every time he takes the floor. Unlike the more rigidly codified dances, every tango is a new tango. Each new pair of partners creates it from the beginning, according to the moment, the mood, the music, and their inner feeling. The state of the heart.
But the very reason the man creates the dance is to evoke the beauty, the grace, and the inner spirit of the woman, without which tango is only empty geometry. He evokes this inner feminine spirit for his own enjoyment, but also so the woman can enjoy her own femininity. He creates the form, and she fills it with beauty. That is the shared experience of tango.
In order to make this possible, the woman is not submissive, she is responsive. She is in a state of heightened awareness, watchful to the nuance of tempo and rhythm, sensitive not only to the music, but to the man's feeling about her and the music, and to the dance he is creating from those feelings.
The art of following in tango is both more subtle and more mysterious than leading. And when a woman follows, she is not dragging along behind like a platypus on a chain. She follows as a cloud follows the wind, and her art is to be as responsive to the man as the cloud is responsive to the wind
This state of heightened responsiveness is not an exclusively feminine skill, by any means. It is also the state of the hunter tracking a wounded animal. (It is even the state of the defensive backfield of the L A Rams, and I do not recall hearing the words "submissive" or "passive" used in that connection.) In the tango, it is the woman who plays this responsive role.
In fact, the image of the feminine that is evoked in the tango is at the farthest pole from passive. It has the greatest feminine range of any dance, at one moment swooning languidly into his arms, at the next a sassy, pert and rebellious flirtation. The tango can express a wider range of the feminine than any other dance, and this is the source of its power for both man and woman.
All these things have certain practical consequences in tango, and in particular in the lead. In the vast majority of cases the reason a woman does not follow is because the man is not leading.
First of all, when a woman is truly following, and in a highly responsive state, she is easily bored. If she always knows what is coming next, and with what timing you will lead any given figure, you will lose her attention and she will start dancing on her own. Perhaps that is acceptable for an exhibition dance, but there is a great difference between displaying the tango and dancing the tango.
An exhibition dance may show the form of tango beautifully, but loses its heart, which is the moment to moment flow of energy between the dancers, in which the outcome is an adventure and a mystery. In an exhibition the meaning is for an audience; in a dance the meaning is for the dancers alone. That is tango.
It is the man's responsibility to be creative enough to keep the woman's attention on the dance. She needs surprises, an occasional unexpected delight, or she will lapse into a routine of memorized steps, and the dance will not be a memorable one for either of you. (One way to improve a woman's following is to make her close her eyes, so that she can respond only to your lead, and not to mental images.)
The implication of this for the lead is clear. The man has to know what he is doing, and do it decisively, without ambiguity, and without giving confusing signals about it. The tango, like all arts, is a combination of freedom and discipline. The dancers cannot enjoy the rewards of tango freedom until they have mastered tango discipline; specifically, for the man, the discipline of leading with certainty.
In tango, particularly, there is survival value in certainty. For example, when you lead the figure el gancho, you must place the woman's body very accurately. Otherwise, and let us be straightforward about this, you will be kicked in the groin by a three inch spike heel moving at an extremely high rate of speed. This is not good. And at such a moment the thought that the woman in tango is "submissive" will not even cross your mind.
We can dispense with the superficial description of woman's role in tango as "passive." But we can also remember the seed of truth in the cliché: the heart of tango is in the contrast of opposites, and the more opposite the roles played by man and woman, the more creative the dance will be. Sensuality alone is limited. Geometry alone is limited. But in free and disciplined combination, together they are unlimited.
In the mythos of tango it is said that two dancers have died from the overwhelming emotion generated by the dance, one in Buenos Aires in 1912, the other in Paris in 1926. Both were women.
copied from this website –
http://www.donberry.com/NonFiction/Tango/tango.html
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Understanding Surrender
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In my many travels, research and trying to understand my own past, I have been give a plethora of articles, information and books on various subjects relating to the balance of Feminine and Masculine energies in a relationship.
I have asked many times for understanding not only about myself and my experiences, how they affected me and my relationships, but the Joy, Beauty and exquisite experience that balance brings to a couple. I have received my answers in many forms and ways. I have experienced both extremes of balance and feminine energy.
Many women are so completely trapped in their past abuse, they are unable to even consider or discuss the qualities and processes that are involved. Rather than be vulnerable they much prefer being in charge and control everything in their environment. The Fear of repeating the past is so powerful that it blocks out all and any possibility of letting go and invoking their true Femininity. Most of this happens on an unconscious level.
True feminine power is this-- the deepest, more primal essence of being female -- is the ability to find strength in your softness, not in spite of it.
When a woman is truly able to fully embrace her femininity in a relationship she then empowers her partner to be and give her all that she wants and needs. This is the dichotomy of resistance, it prevents the very desires a woman holds in her heart, while seemingly she is being sexy and sensuous, in reality she is withholding the most divine energy and Love that her partner needs and desires from her.
It requires trust, and a partner that is on the same level and that understands how and why he is responsible for the woman's safety, security, and honors and respects her.
Ballroom dancing provides a perfect model and safe place to experience and practice this. Where the man is leading and the woman only has to follow, when it is done correctly the experience is divine. She has to completely surrender, trust that the man is giving her security, safety, and that he respects her desires to be taken through the movements with the intention to show off her beauty and Elegance.
Of course the man has to have the skills and ability to do that. So it requires an equal amount of work, practice, learning and giving for the mans part.
For a woman it requires great strength to be soft, to be able to let go and be taken care of, honored and respected at this level. Strangely enough all woman want it, few will ever have it. Fewer still can experience it without someone to guide them along this journey.
if this speaks to you then email me -
soulcoachyms@gmail.com
.
In my many travels, research and trying to understand my own past, I have been give a plethora of articles, information and books on various subjects relating to the balance of Feminine and Masculine energies in a relationship.
I have asked many times for understanding not only about myself and my experiences, how they affected me and my relationships, but the Joy, Beauty and exquisite experience that balance brings to a couple. I have received my answers in many forms and ways. I have experienced both extremes of balance and feminine energy.
Many women are so completely trapped in their past abuse, they are unable to even consider or discuss the qualities and processes that are involved. Rather than be vulnerable they much prefer being in charge and control everything in their environment. The Fear of repeating the past is so powerful that it blocks out all and any possibility of letting go and invoking their true Femininity. Most of this happens on an unconscious level.
True feminine power is this-- the deepest, more primal essence of being female -- is the ability to find strength in your softness, not in spite of it.
When a woman is truly able to fully embrace her femininity in a relationship she then empowers her partner to be and give her all that she wants and needs. This is the dichotomy of resistance, it prevents the very desires a woman holds in her heart, while seemingly she is being sexy and sensuous, in reality she is withholding the most divine energy and Love that her partner needs and desires from her.
It requires trust, and a partner that is on the same level and that understands how and why he is responsible for the woman's safety, security, and honors and respects her.
Ballroom dancing provides a perfect model and safe place to experience and practice this. Where the man is leading and the woman only has to follow, when it is done correctly the experience is divine. She has to completely surrender, trust that the man is giving her security, safety, and that he respects her desires to be taken through the movements with the intention to show off her beauty and Elegance.
Of course the man has to have the skills and ability to do that. So it requires an equal amount of work, practice, learning and giving for the mans part.
For a woman it requires great strength to be soft, to be able to let go and be taken care of, honored and respected at this level. Strangely enough all woman want it, few will ever have it. Fewer still can experience it without someone to guide them along this journey.
if this speaks to you then email me -
soulcoachyms@gmail.com
.
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